Anger in Intimate Relationships

Abstract

I review studies of anger in intimate relationships: both the heightened incidence rates found and the motivational origin. While high levels of anger are reported in intimate relationships, this anger seems to be part of a more pervasive personality pattern that has heightened reactivity to real or symbolic abandonment variously called negative emotionality or borderline personality. I characterize intimacy anger as a vestige of attachment insecurity and as an over-reactive, occasionally dysfunctional activation of the attachment behavioral system. This appears to have origins in temperament and parental rejection as well as parental abuse. This attachment origin appears to crystallize into a chronic personality disorder in some people, who then become at risk for intimate partner violence (IPV).