How do I help my partner in pain? Partners' helping behaviors are linked to lower pain and greater perceived validation during an experimental pain task

Abstract

Background Observers' responses to people with illness are important predictors of quality of life, yet findings are mixed regarding the types of responses that affect illness-related suffering. Purpose The purpose of this study was to examine whether perspective taking positively affects observers' responses to their romantic partner experiencing experimentally induced pain and whether responses based in Self-Determination Theory and communication models of illness are related to perceived validation and pain outcomes. Methods Undergraduate romantic couples (N = 122) completed baseline questionnaires; then one partner was randomly assigned to complete the cold pressor task, whereas the other partner observed. Couples were randomly assigned to one of two groups: a perspective-taking group in which observers were privately instructed to take the perspective of the pain participant or a control group. Afterward, both partners completed surveys, and pain participants completed a video recall task in which they recalled partner behaviors that were coded by trained raters using a theoretically derived manual. Results Pain participants in the perspective-taking group identified significantly less invalidating communication from their partners, fewer behaviors that thwarted their competence, and more behaviors that supported their autonomy. Across groups, pain participants who received more normalizing communication that supported their competence felt more validated by their partners, had lower pain intensity, and exhibited greater pain tolerance, whereas those who received more invalidation showed worse outcomes. Conclusions The results from this study suggest that attention to different types of partner behaviors is essential when developing behavioral medicine treatments for pain and illness.