The use of emotionally focused therapy with polyamorous relationships

Abstract

Approximately 5% of people in the United States engage in some form of consensual non-monogamy (CNM; Archives of Sexual Behavior, 2018, 47, 1439). Therapists are becoming increasingly aware of the need to treat members of CNM relationships, including polyamorous relationships. To date, no research has been conducted and little has been written about applying existing couple therapy models normed on heterosexual, cisgender, monogamous relationships to CNM or polyamorous relationships. Emotionally focused therapy (EFT) is an empirically supported treatment for relationship distress that offers promise for working with polyamorous relationships due to the model's systemic and attachment theoretical foundations. We propose EFT is an ideal model for working with polyamorous relationships because of the focus on externalizing, interpersonal and intrapersonal emotional and experiential coherence, and the attachment bond. Building and sustaining multiple attachment relationships allows for the fulfilment of a diverse range of relational needs and wants as well as provides a secure base for individual and relational exploration. In this article, we first provide general information about polyamory and discuss the research on attachment theory and polyamory. We then provide a step-by-step conceptualization of how EFT therapists can expand the model to include extra-dyadic attachment relationships. In addition, we include specific ways in which the model would need to be adapted when working with polyamorous clients. We conclude with recommendations for EFT therapists working with polyamorous relationships.