Bullying in Intimate Partner Relationships: Teen Dating Violence and Adult Intimate Partner Violence as Forms of Bullying

Abstract

Teen dating violence (TDV) and adult intimate partner violence (IPV) share many similarities. The abuser often starts out sweet and charming by doling out compliments , giving presents, and writing thoughtful love notes. This behavior lulls the victim into a false sense of security, strengthening the bond and attachment between the victim and perpetrator, often making the victim fall deeply "in love." Gradually, this loving behavior is replaced with abusive behavior, which often times begins as verbal abuse that escalates into physical and/or sexual abuse that increases in severity over time. Like the fable of the frog and the boiling water in which a frog dropped into a pot of boiling water will jump out, but a frog put in tepid water that is gradually heated to a boil will not perceive danger and will be cooked to death, the escalation of abuse gradually entraps the victim in a coercive cycle of abuse. It is important to consider the developmental course of intimate relationships. The romantic love that marks the early stages of many intimate relationships often comes with high levels of personal disclosure and shared vulnerability. There may not be any particular power imbalance in these early encounters that are characterized by sharing and caring. However, if romance gives way to stress and conflict in the intimate relationship later on, fighting between partners can become abusive and evolve into bullying. We discuss these dynamics in more detail below. While TDV and IPV are closely aligned, we have opted to first discuss them separately because TDV is a specific form of IPV that occurs when the victim is under the age of 18 and IPV generally refers to adults. Both TDV and IPV result in serious, long-term negative consequences for the victim. Further, although both of these forms of violence are not usually considered to be forms of bullying, both include repetition and power imbalance and can include intent to harm, highlighting the fact that the bullying definitional framework is a useful way of understanding the nuances of TDV and IPV. Following an overview of TDV and IPV, the bullying definitional framework is applied to both forms of violence.