Practices of Care: The Embodiment of Fatherhood

Abstract

On a cold December afternoon, Logan and I go pick up his daughter Alice who goes in an all-girl private school in Manhattan. I am impressed by the imposing early twentieth-century landmark building and by the room where we wait for Alice’s class to finish. It resembles a Victorian salon, with Impressionist art and red velvet couches, a scintillating chandelier hanging from the ceiling, gold and red Christmas wreaths on the door, books and paintings carefully organizing the room, and a beautiful fake Christmas tree. We then go wait by the door. Alice, who is five years old, gets out of the classroom, jumpy, smiling, happy, and runs toward her dad who welcomes her in his arms, giving her a long hug. She does not see me or the others around her. Soon after, we are back sitting down, and she sits on her father’s lap. “What were your acts of kindness today?” he asks her gently, his arms around her, looking at her. Later on, as we walk toward the subway, Logan explains to me that they do a debrief before and after school. Before school, he tells her: “Have a great day at school. Be respectful, thoughtful, and kind. Learn a lot. Accept all challenges. But, most importantly, have fun!”. The other questions he asks her end of the day are, “What were your challenges? What did you learn? How was lunch?”. This routine “makes us both smile and gives us talking points at the end of each school day”, he writes on his blog that he started when he became an at-home dad.