Relational Engagement in Heterosexual Couple Therapy: Helping Men Move from “I” to “We”

Abstract

Therapists often find it difficult to engage men in couple therapy. Attention to the intersection of gender and power adds another layer of complexity, especially when mutual support is a relationship goal. As part of the team developing Socio-Emotional Relationship Therapy (SERT), we found that our ability to relationally engage powerful men is critically important to the success of heterosexual couple therapy. Our purpose in this study was to develop a grounded theory about how therapeutic interventions can invite and sustain male relational engagement based on observations of therapists utilizing the SERT model. We found five therapist interventions that consistently worked together to rebalance power in the relationship by influencing disengaged men's ability to relationally engage with their partners. The following cumulative order of interventions was necessary to facilitate and sustain each successful event: (1) attend to male's sociocultural context; (2) validate male's relational intent; (3) highlight the impact of male's behavior on the female partner; (4) punctuate alternative relational interactions; and (5) demonstrate persistent therapist leadership. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2015 APA, all rights reserved)(chapter)