The Last of Human Desire: Grief, Death, and Mindfulness

Abstract

Grief is inevitable for us all. Yet, a culture which does not foster a compassionate response in the face of inevitable and universal grief simply adds to the suffering of its members. And we live in a world in which individuals—and even various therapeutic and spiritual systems—tend to minimize, if not outright neglect and ignore, afflictive emotions such as grief, anger, and shame. Instead, both implicit and explicit messages coercively focus only on positive feelings, which can create an increasingly painful social milieu for those who experience traumatic grief. Mindfulness practices allow us to deepen the genuineness of our relationships with self and other, bringing us closer, even amidst tragedy, and can enhance the feeling of safety as we all seek solace for our experiences of unfathomable pain. As providers, our hearts can remain open to the other, without needing to self-protect or to erect unnecessary boundaries of fear and death anxiety. But mindfulness practices, while necessary, are often insufficient, for the grief-stricken mourner. They need to judiciously integrate mindfulness with developing and deepening meaning and understanding. And that provides something rare and vital in our fraught world—namely, an emotional home for the grief and trauma and death that permeate our lives. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2016 APA, all rights reserved)