The secrets that you keep: Secrets and relationship quality

Abstract

Research indicates that preoccupation with secrets takes a toll on mental health. There is also some evidence to suggest that keeping secrets from one's romantic partner may harm the relationship as it implies a lack of trust that one's partner will be supportive. Two 4-wave longitudinal surveys of 609 adults (34.3% men, 65.4% women; Mage = 36.4) keeping a secret from their romantic partner was used to assess the lagged effect of preoccupation with the secret on subsequent relationship satisfaction, trust, and emotional intimacy as well as the reverse. Cross-lagged panel modeling with random intercepts indicated that whereas individuals in poorer relationships were more preoccupied with their secrets, there was no evidence for cross-lagged effects. The findings suggest that secrecy may be a symptom—not a cause—of a dissatisfying, distrustful and distant relationship.