Self-determination and regulation of conflict in romantic relationships

Abstract

The chapter explains how self-determination, as defined in self-determination theory, facilitates regulation of conflict in romantic relationships. Self-determination theory is fundamentally a theory of optimal relationship development and functioning. Basic psychological needs for autonomy, competence, and relatedness guide the motivational underpinnings of relational well-being in much the same way they guide individual well-being. Autonomy, in particular, promotes openness rather than defensiveness and facilitates perspective-taking, authenticity, support of close others, and intrinsic rather than extrinsic investment in one's relationships. As in other contexts, the satisfaction of basic psychological needs can be promoted or thwarted in romantic relationships. Among couples, relationship autonomy and need fulfillment are associated with positive relationship processes and outcomes such as more understanding and relationship-maintaining responses to conflicts and disagreements. The dyadic context of romantic relationships affords great opportunity for theoretical development and integration of self-determination theory with current theories of interdependence and conflict regulation in close relationships.