Mother and Lover: Dissident Desire and the Older Woman in The Mother and Adore

Abstract

Released in 2003, Roger Michell’s The Mother is a sombre portrayal of May’s (Ann Reid) struggle with loneliness in the aftermath of the death of Toots (Peter Vaughan), her husband of more than thirty years. Unable to receive comfort and meaningful connection from both of her estranged, grown-up children-with whom she maintains a difficult relationship marked by unresolved tension-May commences an affair with her daughter’s lover, Darren (Daniel Craig), who is more than twenty years younger and married with children of his own. Released in 2013, Anne Fontaine’s Adore adapts Doris Lessing’s novella “The Grandmothers” (2003) and narrates the turbulent romantic lives of lifelong friends Lil (Naomi Watts) and Roz (Robin Wright) who, as they pass into middle-age, begin romantic and sexual relationships with each other’s sons. By focusing on The Mother (2003) and Adore (2013), this chapter seeks to answer the following questions: If women have historically been encouraged to eroticize the more distant, more powerful and patriarchal father-figure, then what are the feminist implications of seeking a lover who is significantly younger? And to what extent does the “coming out” of the desirous and desirable older woman signal a victory for feminism by rendering visible ageing female desire, and by destigmatizing cross-generational relationships?.