Helping couples deal with anger and conflict

Abstract

Anger is a negative emotion that everyone experiences to some degree, and when used functionally, can help individuals achieve goals without causing harm to oneself or others. When anger is not used for this purpose and is suppressed or expressed in a fashion that is detrimental, it is defined as dysfunctional and can be particularly damaging to a couple's relationship. This chapter explores the definition of anger, as well as self-defeating behaviors and irrational beliefs associated with anger, with an emphasis on demanding, low-frustration tolerance, awfulizing, and global evaluations of worth. Case studies will illustrate application of concepts. Couple assessment of anger and conflict will also be addressed, including considerations regarding physical aggression. The chapter concludes with specific cognitive, behavioral and emotive interventions to address anger issues.