Helping couples dispel myths and self-defeating beliefs and behaviors that sabotage relationships and marriage

Abstract

This chapter addresses myths and misconceptions that can negatively impact couple relationships. Examples of myths include the following: communicating expectations is unnecessary, marriage should not be a lot of work, love conquers all, marriage is a constant that never changes, and conflict should be avoided. In addition, four typical games that couples engage in that sabotage relationships are discussed and illustrated through case studies. Irrational beliefs and cognitive distortions that have a negative influence on couple relationships will also be identified and discussed. The chapter concludes with specific examples of effective cognitive, emotive, and behavioral interventions that practitioners can apply with their clients in couple counseling.