Introduction: Sampling Love—Romance and Television in Post-socialist China

Abstract

This chapter is a brief review of romantic love and its cultural referents in both Chinese and Western contexts, stressing the values of examining the national and collective beliefs surrounding romantic relationships in contemporary Chinese media and cultural discourse. On September 21, 2013, If You Are the One, the most successful dating show on Chinese television, presented a man's determined pursuit of one of 24 female contestants. Fan Gang, a healthy, wealthy, attractive man in his mid-30s, who had graduated from a college in England, taught English in Beijing for a few years, and ended up managing a successful family-owned business that produces railway parts. He seemed mature, honest, responsible, loyal, and romantic. He appeared on the show specifically to pursue Li Lina, who had caught his attention and whose files he had carefully studied. Because Li had graduated from a technology college in China and taught auto repair and mechanics, Fan believed they were the perfect match in all respects. He was deeply attracted to Li because of her talent, beauty, and her wishes concerning her future husband and life. After Fan poetically and sincerely expressed his interest in Li on air, an entire wall covered with the pictures that Fan had collected from Li's 2 online posts was displayed, a white wedding dress descended from the ceiling, and audience members supported Fan by waving their cell phones showing Li's picture. The result seemed so obvious-Li would leave with Fan and start a romance. However, surprisingly, Li began to cry, bowed to Fan, and told him, "I know I should say yes, no matter for what reasons. However, being touched doesn't mean having the feelings. I am sorry." The show's host and audience members appeared shocked and disappointed. Fan left by himself, as disappointed as everyone else. The rest of the episode seemed dull and lacking in energy after Fan departed. It was also awkward for Li to remain. She disappeared from the show after the episode and neither she nor the show gave any explanation about her withdrawal, leaving the public wondering why she had left and what happened to her. Li's dramatic rejection of Fan Gang sparked many online discussions. Most people doubted her sincerity about finding a husband on the show. Comments included "What kind of man does she want?" "Does she really want to find a husband there?" while others wrote, "She probably was waiting for a man, a man that she already knew before she joined the show and has been waiting for for a long time." Guesses, assumptions, and random criticism appeared all over the internet. There even were rumors that Li had been married before and lied to the show's producers about her past. Despite these accusations, some netizens supported her choice and suggested rational and logical reasons for her "irrational" decision, including the following: (1) Fan Gan is in the second generation of a wealthy family (Fu Erdai), which means he enjoyed the privilege of studying in England and managing a company without having to work hard or exhibit any talent; (2) he looked good on TV but if he took off his suit, he might resemble a farmer looking for work in a city-tanned and not very tall; (3) he sounded mature and steady but that was to be expected, given that he was already 35; and (4) Li was not interested in luxury brands, so his wealth was not important to her. Thus, Li's rejection of Fan was not that hard to understand. Although my interest in studying the portrayal of romantic relationships started long before this episode of If You Are the One,