Shame and Forgiveness in Therapy and Coaching

Abstract

Shame and guilt are two emotions most people find very hard to endure. In order to avoid the feeling of shame, behaviors such as aggressive attacks or withdrawal from social relationships are common strategies. Such reactions can be socially impairing when they are shown on a regular basis or when they persist over a long period of time. They may even lead to antisocial behavior, social isolation or mental illness. In the secure environment of coaching sessions, counseling or therapy, it is possible to enable the client to find ways to disclose feelings of shame and guilt and to guide the client through a process of forgiving themselves or their offenders. Hence, it is possible to help the client to modify their perception of reality from focused upon past offenses to a hopeful, goal-oriented and meaningful future perspective. This chapter highlights the general process of a non-religious approach to forgiveness and offers practical exercises drawing on scientific results from, e.g., Schema Therapy, Positive Psychology and Imaginative Therapy.