Attachment and Intimacy

Abstract

The depth of emotional closeness and responsiveness in the early attachment bond and later in intimate relationships is unique in a person’s life history. No other kinds of relationship rival these two for importance. Although they are not the same, there is much about intimacy that is central to secure attachment. Love, mutual regulation, and emotional safety characterize both. The main difference is that in the attachment relationship only the caregiver is expected to provide compromise, give- and-take, knowledge of the other, and commitment, whereas in an intimate relationship both partners are. Intimacy is not an appropriate construct to use in describing the infant’s capabilities. A baby is expected to provide cues as to his needs, not strength and commitment. It is the caregiver’s task to fit herself to the baby’s needs.