Risking the social bond: motivations to defend or to repair when dealing with displeasing information

Abstract

Our choice to withhold or disclose displeasing information to another can motivate concern about damage to our social bonds. In two experiments, using two different samples of university students in Norway, (N = 174 and N = 217), we found that withholding unpleasant information led to greater concern for self- image and social-image than did disclosure. We also found that withholding elicited more shame, inferiority and rejection than disclosure, and in Experiment 2, withholding elicited more defensive motivation than disclosure. Consistent with our model, defensive motivation was mostly explained by concern for social-image, whereas relationship repair motivation was mostly explained by concern for self-image and felt shame. We discuss implications for the literature on shame and social bonds.