Searching for an English self through writing

Abstract

Most Finnish university students, just like the other new global elites (Kramsch,2013), use English without problems. Some students, however, struggle withEnglish to the extent that their studies suffer. One could say that they have adeeply “wounded” English self (Karlsson, 2013). My context of research andpractice is the Autonomous Learning Modules (ALMS) at Helsinki UniversityLanguage Centre. In my work as a language counsellor and practitioner-researcher,pedagogical concerns are always primary, and there is a need to appreciatediversity yet notice every student’s unique experiences. The broadbackground of my recent work is English as part of the identity of young academicFinns. In particular, I have been interested in how students with a“wounded” English self can develop new identity positions, and in how a languagecounsellor can help them in this process. In this paper, my focus is on thesubtle practical interconnections between learner autonomy, learner diversity,and learner identity as they emerge in a diary written by a student of Englishwith dyslexia and language (classroom) anxiety. A narrative case study of Mariiaillustrates how the counsellor’s appreciation and her own recognition of thecomplex ecological realities (Casanave, 2012) surrounding and interacting withher learning encourage and empower her. Mariia uses her freedom to controlher own learning (Huang & Benson, 2013) and makes choices from the manylifewide experiential learning opportunities in her life (Karlsson & Kjisik, 2011).Reflective writing in the learning diary helps her to construct a realistic vision ofherself as a learner and user of English, and she leaves the identity position ofa failure in the classroom and claims a new, more successful one (Norton, 2014).