Managing Shame in Organisations: Don’t Let Shame Become a Self-destructive Spiral

Abstract

After a major mistake, it is natural to feel ashamed. Nevertheless, shame is also a powerfully destructive feeling. Left to fester, it can have a profound effect on psychological well-being (Mayer, Viviers, and Tonelli, in SA J Ind Psychol/SA Tydskrif vir Bedryfsielkunde 43(0):a1385, 2017). It is concealed behind guilt, it lurks behind anger, and it can be disguised as despair and depression. The question as to how employees can cope with shame in organisations can be asked. Here are two maladaptive strategies: attacking the self or attacking other employees. Initially, hostility is directed inward (“I’m worthless, " “I’ve never been any good”). In an attempt to feel better, some employees will lash out in defensiveness and denial. Others may try to compensate by being exceptionally nice or by pleasing other employees in the hopes of improving their feelings of self-worth (Velotti, Garofalo, Bottazzi, and Caretti, in J Psychol 151(2):171-184, 2017). An improved approach is to discover the true source of shame, and then practice self-compassion (Irons and Lad, in Aust Clin Psychol 3(1):47-54, 2017).