Being a child in the family: young children describe themselves and their parents

Abstract

This study explores how children describe their experiences of family interaction with parents who had taken part in parenting training. 11 children between five and nine years participated in semi-structured interviews which were analysed using a qualitative content analysis method. The children described themselves as active participants in family life, identifying strategies that they used to safeguard their subjective selves on one hand and to enhance communication with their parents on the other. The analysis displayed three main approaches in everyday life: withholding thoughts and hiding, extending limits for personal agency, and putting trust in their parents to guide and protect them in their stride. While handling these processes the children showed a willingness to take part in democratic family decisions by compromises and compliance. Towards their parents they expressed understanding and forbearance with adult shortcomings such as absentmindedness. Their reasoning involved issues of integrity and relational closeness. Conclusively, the children balanced their own selves with an undemanding respect for parental care and adult competence. The study contributes to awareness of and respect for how children position themselves as relational agents in a generational order. The results suggest that future research should further explore children’s perspectives on family life in a parenting training context. Children’s views should be drawn on to inform future developments in parenting training.