Tagging my tears and fears: Text-mining the autoethnography

Abstract

This article, which was presented for the first time at CSDH/SCHN 2018, outlines a mixed methodology that combines digital text-mining techniques, like XML tagging and topic modelling, with autoethnography. In this article, I describe my intimate and rocky relationship with my data, referred to as my "life-as-text." As someone who has Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, I have an extremely difficult time putting many of the events of my life into situational and linear context. The process of formally tagging my data requires me to overcome psychological blocks that have been created as defense mechanisms; thus, allowing me to honestly read and create associations in my dissociated "life-as-text." Conducting a macroanalysis of data that was gathered through both journaling, and the recording and transcription of "let's play" videos, has given me a new lens through which to view myself and my experiences. I see myself in my data. I see myself in ways that I cannot otherwise put into words. Text-mining my deepest memories and emotions provides me with an odd sense of stability in a seemingly chaotic assortment of words. In this article, I explain my autoethnographic journey and the powerful impact that digital text-mining has had on my relation to myself and my research.