The Dark Side of Social Networking Sites in Romantic Relationships

Abstract

Social networking sites (SNSs) enrich many aspects of our relationships, yet they also have the potential for harm. Although considerable research has focused on the benefits of SNSs, there is a “dark side” to online social networks, particularly in romantic relationships. Distinctive affordances of SNSs (e.g., visibility and connectivity) enable new types of negative communication outcomes in romantic relationships as news about the couple is made visible to both partners’ networks, including friends, family, and ex-partners. Thus, SNSs can be a source of stress and relational turbulence for romantic partners from the early stages of dating to the post-breakup phase. When dating, users may sense disinterest based on a lack of SNS interaction or perceive competition among other network “friends” observed interacting on the romantic partner’s page. Once the romantic relationship becomes exclusive, partners may experience pressure from the partner or the network to establish the relationship as “Facebook official” and advertise it on his/her page. In the relationship, techno-incompatibility may be source of conflict as partners have different patterns of use (e.g., one partner is constantly on and the other rarely is). Partners may also maintain different perceptions of appropriateness and privacy for communication within and about the relationship on SNSs, leading to conflict about what is shared publicly on the site. Partner monitoring on SNSs (i.e., “Facebook stalking”), a common practice influenced by attachment style, can be deleterious during and after romantic relationships. SNSs also provide unique sources of distress in the process and wake of relationship dissolution.