A Moment of Self-Reflection: From Trauma to Self-Healing

Abstract

This article aimed to investigate how “selves” were created from the process of creating subjectivity. The research methodology is a qualitative research using autoethnography and life story telling. The self-reflection could bring back to the specific moments in the past, and analyze actions and thoughts. From the self-reflection, there are two conflicted selves; ‘liberated or independent’ self (from gender norms), and ‘self-in-cage’ or ‘self-in-society’ (which suppressed under “unseen cages” or social norms and religious belief unconsciously). This subjectivity can be considered as “an unfinished project” because the processes of creating liberated self and a self-in-cage are happening all the time. They were pushed and pulled again and again by society and even by own self. It cannot be seen as totally liberated or trapped in the unseen cages. They win and lose at the same time.