Knowing What You’ve Got Once It’s Gone: Identifying Familial Norms and Values through the Lens of (Sibling) Bereavement

Abstract

Following the death of a sibling, life as it was known and expected to be lived is permanently and irrevocably set on a different trajectory. Surviving siblings are left to consider all that they have lost beyond the individual who died. Using data from a qualitative study exploring experiences of sibling bereavement over the life course, this article presents a set of assumptions that people had regarding their imagined but unliveable futures. In doing so, it outlines how these ideas contribute to a currently under-developed understanding of normative expectations of the adult sibling relationship, as well as wider familial norms and values. As such, this article will demonstrate that death can actually reveal much about living relationships. It will conclude that bereavement research has much to offer the sociologies of family, relationships and personal life, as an alternative lens through which to learn more about familial norms and values.