Rules for Mediated Romance: A Digital Exploration of How Couples Negotiate Expectations

Abstract

Framed by expectancy violation theory, this study used joint interviews to explore why couples create communication rules for their technology use and what happens if the expectation is violated. Participants' (n = 36) narratives were analyzed through four coding cycles: in vivo, initial, value, and focused coding. Interviews with romantic couples resulted in three themes: rules are performative, rules reduce conflict, and rules guide modality weaving. During an expectation violation, findings revealed that the magnitude of the violation is first determined by the violator defending their behavior. Then, based on the appraisal process, the couple reframes the rule to better work for their future interactions. Key findings conclude that rules are not rigid; they are fluid and develop naturally over time. This research adds to the literature about how mediated communication transforms the dynamics of romantic relationships as couples explicitly and implicitly create communication rules to help maintain their partnership.