Becoming my daughter's mother: Attuning relationally

Abstract

In this paper I explore ideas such as mothering, caring, rules, and responsibilities towards a toddler, whilst methodologically, being influenced by a body of work around a feminist ethics of care. This piece attempts to understand how as a mother who is influenced by academic readings, I can support my child's independence and remain sensitive to her needs while setting some boundaries to keep her safe and prepared for the outside world. To do that, I have drawn on feminist New Materialist and posthuman non-anthropocentric ethics, where researchers continually challenge the assumption of boundaries, for example between agency and humans, ethics and politics, autonomy and dependence. Being entangled with my own ‘theoretical’ trajectory - readings, teachings and my own cultural values, beliefs; personal and professional identity and the practicalities and challenges of the lived experience with my daughter, in this research assemblage, the aim is to apply ideas from a feminist ethics of care to help me understand how to attune with my child more carefully in order to balance the notion of boundary-setting during sleep routines while respecting her need of autonomy.