Constant connection as the media condition of love: where bonds become bondage

Abstract

Lovers’ capacity to connect with each other over distance has increased drastically with the proliferation of digital media. This augmented capacity to build connection with a distant other has become an important condition of romantic relationship in our time. This article explores the implication of constant connection as a media affordance for romantic relationship by examining media use among young Chinese lovers. Based on in-depth interviews with young Chinese lovers, it argues that constant connection contributes to a continual sense of togetherness between romantic couples as they continually engage in phatic communication, but that it intensifies lovers’ negotiation of intimacy and individuality by pushing their personal boundaries on one hand and cultivating an intolerance of separation on the other. Overall, this article contributes to the scholarly conversation about media technology and human intimacy by offering a critique of social media based on the inner dynamics of romantic relationship.