Attention-Getting Mechanisms (AGMs): A Personal Journey

Abstract

All relationships could be described in terms of the coordinations and conflicts between competing needs for attention and the mechanisms utilized to seek this goal. In this article, I introduce the initialism AGM (Attention-getting Mechanism) to refer to an interpersonal style or particular behavior or constellation of behaviors that one adopts and displays publicly that is unhealthy, repetitively counterproductive and ultimately harmful to self and/or others. Delineated from socially- and personally- productive modes of seeking attention, self-defeating AGMs categorize across varied spectra, from subtle and seemingly inhibited, to blatant, excessive, or frankly pathological. They arise in response to trauma and psychological disturbance and, as such, are the outcome of enduring deficits in getting appropriate and sufficient attention. I record the evolution of my thinking and doing, over the course of leading two group sessions, spaced several months apart, regarding dilemmas in getting attention. The first drew me to the topic, and, unexpectedly, stimulated personal associations and remembrances, which centered on a cumulative childhood trauma organized around the term, “AGM.” I approached the second session better equipped to understand the proceedings, and to connect my ideas to current diagnostic criteria, technical considerations, clinical research, and metapsychological theory.