The Help-Seeking Paradox: Gender and the Consequences of Using Career Reentry Assistance

Abstract

This article examines how penalizing men who “do gender” in nonstereotypical ways ultimately maintains the gender system. Leveraging data from an online survey experiment conducted with hiring decision-makers, I develop and test a theory of a help-seeking paradox whereby managers are less likely to interview and hire fathers who used career reentry assistance (CRA) relative to fathers who did not. However, this penalty does not emerge for mothers. A second online survey experiment reveals that two years of full-time employment after reentry diminishes the negative effects of CRA for fathers. Nonetheless, lingering stigma from having previously left paid work for childcare continues to disadvantage fathers relative to mothers, with perceptions of competence and commitment mediating long-term effects. These studies demonstrate how the reinforcement of cultural gender rules punishes both mothers and fathers seeking more equitable career coordination while providing novel insight into the boundaries of penalties for men who violate gender stereotypes.