“That weird kid without parents”: a qualitative analysis of identity following bereavement due to parental intimate partner homicide in Australia

Abstract

Purpose: Bereavement through parental intimate partner homicide (IPH) is a unique form of complex trauma that may disrupt and destabilise identity in surviving children. This qualitative study aimed to generate a better understanding of post-homicide experiences and needs in the context of identity to improve support for these neglected victim-survivors. Methods: Semi-structured interviews were conducted in Australia with 12 participants aged 16 to 55 years (10 females, one male, and one non-binary) who were younger than 18 years when one of their biological parents murdered the other. Data were analysed using reflexive thematic analysis. Results: Four themes were generated: (1) non-normalcy; (2) isolation and alienation; (3) negotiating silence; and (4) understanding self through connection to parents. Participants’ bereavement seemed to catalyse a self-concept of difference that was defined relationally in opposition to “normal” peers. Isolation ensued this othering and was sometimes compounded by a lacking sense of belonging in post-homicide family environments or engagement in support that exacerbated alienation. Societal taboos saw participants mask their inner worlds, which hampered sense making and drove self-uncertainty. Connection to parents was an important vehicle for self-understanding. Participants generally rejected perpetrators and maintained an active connection with the deceased, which sometimes served as a powerful means of resolving identity-based tensions (e.g. fear of inheriting perpetrator traits). Conclusions: Peer-based models of support and connection to victim parents warrant further investigation as potential intervention targets to alleviate identity-based distress following bereavement due to parental IPH.