Work-family decision-making processes at the transition to parenthood: why aren’t heterosexual couples discussing some of the most important decisions of their lives?

Abstract

Gender inequalities persist in the outcomes of work-family decisions at the transition to parenthood, regardless of men and women’s relative earnings. While existing studies suggest explicit decision-making is necessary for egalitarian divisions of labour and theoretical perspectives often assume couples actively negotiate and discuss alternatives, little attention has been paid to decision-making dynamics within female higher- or equal-earning couples. Drawing on qualitative interviews with 25 heterosexual professional couples in the United Kingdom, this paper offers an in-depth analysis of the process of making fundamental ‘anchoring’ work-family decisions at the transition to parenthood, exploring the content of discussions and identifying mechanisms behind decision-making styles. Contrary to assumptions, the findings reveal that couples rarely negotiate or explicitly discuss work-family scenarios during this critical life transition. Conversations, predominantly led by women, focused on her working arrangements and (non-parental) childcare solutions. Four mechanisms emerged to explain a lack of discussion and women’s key role in driving decision-making: traditional gendered expectations, naivety about the risk of ‘falling into gender’, lack of impetus to discuss men’s working arrangements, and risks associated with men initiating such discussions. The paper underscores the need for active decision-making support, providing recommendations for families, organizations, education providers and policy makers.