Discrepancies between actual and ideal selves desired by significant others and self-esteem in adults: Perspectives on gender roles

Abstract

The present study investigated the effects of discrepancies between actual and ideal selves desired by significant others (i.e., children, spouse, parents, peers, and co-workers) on several aspects of self-esteem, in relation to the moderator variables of gender, gender roles, developmental stage, and life style. Adult Japanese (N = 404; average age, 41.4 years) who were parents of infants or adolescents completed a questionnaire. The results showed that the effect of discrepancies between actual and ideal selves desired by significant others was moderated by gender, gender roles, generation, and occupation. The ideal self desired by the male participants' co-workers strongly predicted the participants' self-esteem, whereas the ideal selves desired by several significant others (i.e., children, peers, and parents) predicted the self-esteem of the female participants. The ideal self desired by co-workers strongly predicted the self-esteem of the male participants with traditional gender attitudes, whereas the ideal self desired by their children predicted the self-esteem of the fathers of infants. The ideal self desired by their parents predicted the self-esteem of females with traditional gender role attitudes, whereas the ideal self desired by their peers predicted the self-esteem of gender egalitarians. In addition, the ideal self desired by housewives' parents predicted their self-esteem.