No sex before marriage? Migrant youth navigating restrictive norms regarding premarital relationships

Abstract

While restrictive norms on premarital sexuality are not exclusive for Muslims, most of the research on premarital sexuality is on Muslim women, while young men are virtually absent. This Dutch study also includes young people of other religious backgrounds and young men. It discusses how the 55 young people who were interviewed experience and navigate the virginity imperative and norm of sex segregation. The deeply religious young people experience virginity as a deep moral value. Others do not subscribe to the virginity imperative, but neither do they openly rebel. Many young women have had secret sexual relationships. While young men are believed to enjoy more sexual liberties, our male participants also felt monitored in their love life. These young people refrain from openly rebelling, because they do not want to disgrace their parents. By taking responsibility for their parents’ well-being in their sexual choices, they demonstrate a relational sexual agency.