“A Situation Where There Aren't Rules”: Unwanted Sex for Gay, Bisexual, and Questioning Men

Abstract

Although college gay and bisexual men report elevated rates of sexual victimization, their accounts have received less scholarly attention. This article examines 18 gay, bisexual, and questioning (GBQ) men's narratives about their experiences of unwanted sex in college. Our findings suggest that men are motivated to have unwanted sex while trying to navigate ambiguous sexual scripts amid male power dynamics, sexual inexperience, and ubiquitous heteronormativity and homophobia. Due to less defined sexual scripts and/or inexperience, men sometimes overlaid a heterosexual script onto encounters, resulting in an expectation that the ”top” should have an orgasm. The stigma of being gay (or its potential) also entered into sexual interactions, pushing people to have sex in secrecy, in remote locations, or with closeted people who use force or threats to obtain sex. Together, these gendered and homophobic social pressures combine to leave GBQ men grappling with a double bind. As part of this double bind, GBQ men feel pressure to have sex in order to perform properly as a man—and specifically as a gay or bisexual man. They also fear losing control in a sexual situation, which could result in emasculation.